I am having a few drinks by myself. Thinking back at all the hours I’ve spend on personal development and mistakes I have made throughout my life. Hey everyone makes mistakes, especially when we’re young. Out of all the mistakes I have made, relationship ones hurt the most and challenge me the most. Why is that so??
Today some people like to joke around about relationships. Relationships was not a subject learned at school, so many of us have to learn from experience and practicing. Some are on different level and some have different rules. Relationships could be an area in life that could be unfair, some people will have a advantage and same will have a disadvantage. So where do we find this experience and practice from??
Relationships are all very similar, weather its relationship with family, friends, partner or yourself. We want to share, give, receive, grow, feel good and be happy. If we want relationship that works, we must be doing the things I mentioned. Some relationship might fail because they don’t understand this, so they don’t meet each others needs. We all need to share, give, receive, grow, feel good and be happy.
When ever I fail in my relationships, like a breakup. I felt like it’s the end of the world. I felt like my education, work, money, everything didn’t matter. I felt like everything I did was for a better relationship. I don’t understand and I didn’t know how to control my emotions, when there was loss in relationship. I was looking for an answers. Drinking, looking for new relationship, doing many stupid things. Trying to change things out of my control. After many years of failing I have found the answer. It is to look within yourself. To love yourself. To be yourself. To appreciate yourself. To Grow yourself. How can we love others and expect others to love us back and create a relationship with them, if we can’t do these things for ourselves first.
Don’t forget we all have many kinds of relationships like family, friends, work mates and partner. We can’t just give up other relationship if one fails or spend all the energy on one type of relationship. we have to balance between all our relationships. We can’t always control all the events and people around us. We can’t change what happened in the past. We can control ourselves, control what we think, control how we feel, control what we learn and control what is happening right now.
Challengers are part of life, we need them to learn and grow. Don’t avoid them. There are plenty of help around, to get you though all the challenging times.If you don’t understand something, go to the library, book store, search the web or find people who can help you.
Spend most time finding or thinking about a solutions and not on the problem.